Wow... The past week was madness. I hardly even had the time to use the computer for leisure. Well, it wasn't the worst week that I've had. It really makes me wonder, how can an 18 AU semester be this busy? I feel really sad for the engineering students who are actually going through more than this. Well, they don't need to worry about GPA anyway. Guess there are pros and cons.

   I just had this sudden urge to write, even though I'm supposed to be busy with editing and formatting my accounting report and studying for my BizLaw test on tomorrow. Sigh. It's weird that I actually pen down what I feel in a place that I don't really believe in. To me, blogging is somewhat a means of seeking attention? It draws unwanted attention at times, and sometimes the attention of the ones you wish having. However, I realized that I wanted to do this, and I believe something constuctive will come out of it. This is my rationale for blogging. Why would I want to do this? To get your attention perhaps? Afterall, I've said that this could be the only way I get to update you about myself... If you are ever still interested. You probably won't even know it anyway.

   I hope your auditions went fine. And did well (like you always did last semester) in all the tests that you had taken. I had a couple of tests last week and I must say that I didn't do very well. I'll work harder for it. Afterall, the exams are coming? Your exams will most likely be one or two weeks earlier than mine. I hope it won't clash on your birthday so that you'll get a chance to really enjoy yourself. We will be having our long breaks. More job hunting for you I guess? As for me, I'm planning to take up one or two electives during the term break. I'll have to pay for those subjects since they would be taken out of school term. At the same time, I will be looking for jobs as well.

   I have been saving up. Resisted the temptations of cabs and have been taking public transport. I really really am not used to taking a bus or train. When I first stepped into one of those for the first time since... ages..., it was totally foreign to me. You know me. I'd rather not waste precious time and energy standing and squeezing in the crowd, and keep risking my toe getting stepped on. I wanna work. So that I get more money. I have been living on my own (with my roomies) for the past couple of months. I come home only during the weekends. My parents miss me all the time but they are glad that I can be independent.

   Oh and my toys. Remember my precious figurines? They mean alot to me all these years. Even now. I told you once that everytime something new arrives, they never fail to brighten my day. Toy collection has always been a way for me to keep myself cheerful. I've always been proud of my massive collection. I remember saying to you that collecting toys to me is like shopping for new clothes for you. I thought that this would ever cross my mind but ya... I intend to sell all my toys once I find a suitable buyer. The amount invested in my massive collection is bound to yield alot of money. Why the sudden decision to sell after saying all these? Perhaps it's because I got to learn to let go. I'm probably doing this to prove something to myself. I want to know what I am still capable of doing. I want to learn how to let go, and yet hold on to the things that mean much more to me. Money isn't applicable in this context. Money isn't that important to me. My personal development is. I will never want to ruin myself by doing things just because I want to or like it. Something constructive must come out of it.

   Is everything still too late? I wish I'd know. Keeping a faith that was once borne from the both of us still keeps me going, still motivates me. Maybe it's wrong for me to hold on to something that no longer exists and use that as a form of motivation, but it helps me, at least for now during this busy period. So why not? Ultimately I'm never someone who can get over and be cool about it easily. That's my trait. It can be my strength and my weakness.  Even though you aren't here anymore, my life still goes on as well. I may not be as happy as I used to be, but it's still going to be this case anyway.

   Anyway, all the best for the coming week. Enjoy your outings with your friends and more importantly, the life that you've been hoping for. Alright. Bed time for me. I'll be praying for you to stay happy always. Take care my angel.

=)